Since I hosted book club in July it became my responsibility to choose the book we will read for our next meeting. After some deliberation I decided on one of my favorites, Angle of Repose, by my favorite author, Wallace Stegner. Angle was the first W.S. book I read and because of it I've subsequently read every piece of fiction and nearly all non-fiction that's he's published. I'll spare you all the love-fest I could write explaining why W.S. is the best and my fave. You can imagine my hesitancy of putting something so dear to me out on the chopping block for the diverse minds of my book club to potentially hate.
But I did and I nervously waited to hear how the ladies were enjoying/hating it.
The first response came from an open minded friend, "So I was a little surprised at the lesbian relationship. How long does that go on?"
My heart skipped a beat. Shocked, confused and mortified, I had no response to give her. I couldn't answer because I honestly didn't know what she was referring to.
It had been 8 years since I last read Angle of Repose.
I've now re-read Angle and sure enough, there is a female to female "marriage of like minds."
It is never imporprietous or physical but the relationship is certainly (at least for the first part of the book) beyond the bounds of platonic friendship.
It is curious to me that something that is blatant and obvious to me now was completely beyond my perception only 8 years ago. Interestingly, eight years ago I had a shiny new diploma declaring me capable of analyzing literature and yet it is now when my mind has softened after years of sparse use that I'm able to see something so clear. Hmmm.
The only explanation I can deduce is my change in perspective. My life is much changed. My body, my opinions, my goals, my spirit, my expectations...... all changed. I guess it's only natural that I can read the same book and after eight years see different things in it.
Since this episode I've been noticing in many things how my perspective has changed. For instance:
Several years ago when Spouse accepted his job offer there was a certain stipulation that if met would immediately earn him a $1,000 salary increase. At the time it $1,000 seemed an almost comic amount to raise a salary. But now after two pay cuts, $1,000 would mean a lot to us.
or
Most of my life I've been afraid of guns and felt strongly in their lack of necessity for humans. There was not a scenario you could paint for me that I would have conceded that a gun was a good thing. To me they represented hate, anger and tools of the devil. But I now I live somewhere unsafe. Many scary things have happened in my neighborhood. I have children. And now a 9mm.
These are just little things, incidental changes. But when you put these together with the major changes it make my head spin a little to think how my internal landscape has morphed. And yet, when I see people from past times, they still seem to recognize and know me.
I'm digging deep today. I would love to hear how some of your perspectives have changed.
15 comments:
Things do change!!!
I'm not much of a reader (as you know)...so I cannot comment on your literary epiphany...but I will say...at the other girls' night I realized that a lot of those so called "classic" songs from the past--really have some interesting lyrics and probably not the best messages...but they sure do bring out some crazy dance moves!
I dig deep.
"For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change opinions, even on important subjects, which I once thought right but found to be otherwise." Benjamin Franklin
Imagine if you read this book again in 30 years. I wonder how you will feel then...something to think about.
I have found the same thing in my life.
Coincidentally I was also thinking of my own hate of guns until just a couple years ago when I found myself always home alone with the kids as Chad travels.
I no longer feel afraid of pulling the trigger if it meant protecting what is mine.
Your comments ring true and strike a chord. I've been having thoughts like these lately mainly because yesterday was our first day of homeschool. If you would have told me 8 years ago that I'd be homeschooling my kids I'd have asked you what you were smokin'. But now I can't imagine doing it any other way.
i think age brings with it an awareness of the unexpected (and often happy) results of responsibility and the complexities of adult life.
For me, that means not so positive things like skeptisim, cynicism, and optimistic pessimism (there is such a thing!)
But growing older, joyful and challenging experiences mold your perspective in ways you couldn't have expected. You find your ability to experience pure happiness and your ability to rise above utter despair are far beyond what you thought previously possible.
you asked for deep, my friend! :)
I'm just empathizing with the book club thing. We just began one in our ward and it's scary business choosing a book for everyone's standards. Sadly, I can't think of more than a handful of my faves that would be bishop approved. And if you are reading a book with the knowledge in the back of your head that you need to discuss this with a certain group of people then for sure you would read it differently. This also goes for being a parent. My son is getting old enough that we can enjoy a few of the same books, but I for sure don't want him reading some of the books that I find myself enjoying. (double standard, I know!)
I'm going to have to look up your lesbian book next time I'm at the library. Thanks!
I think it's very easy for me to see how my views in politics have changed especially with things as they are now. As a kid in highschool and college I was naive and thought that good intentions were enough very emotionally driven. Now that I'm older, have two mortgages, jobs, kids, real responsibilities my views have totally changed. I listened to my 18 year old neice back during the last election and she sounded just like me when I was her age...it was a real eye-opener. Have fun with AoR. I need to read that again! I didn't pick up on any of that either.
I think it has all been said and I can almost ditto all of it. I'm with you on the gun thing. One of the biggest fights Troy and I have had was over guns. Now I laugh that something I stood SO stong on is something that I would actually consider.
your literary degree AND perspective are highly valued anywhere- be it at book club or blogland.
I agree that much has changed in my perspective over the years. But what I really think holds the greatest importance is not what we see now vs. what we noticed back then (ie the lesbian relationship) but what we find acceptable now vs. then.
It's an eye opener to think about. Great point MJ. The world's standards are changing at an amazing rate but the Lord's are not.
(okay, so I totally took a religious approach to this subject... but you got me thinking!!) :)
As for guns... I think that they have their place. I truly believe that educating our children regarding their power, use, and ability creates a safer environment for their existance.
Angle of Repose sits on my bookshelf as one of my favorites, too, and I never picked up on a lesbian relationship. Huh. Gotta re-read that one. Did you like Crossing to Safety?
Perspective. Yeah. Changes big time. Kind of like that "my kid will never have a runny nose" stance you take when you are single and see a mom out with her four kids: one in Buzz Lighyear pajamas, one in a princess dress, and the other two in unmatched soccer uniforms and scrappy hair. "That will NEVER be me." Ha! How quickly we are RIGHT THERE, friend (cousin!).
Thank goodness we all grow and change, or we'd be a bunch of self-centered brats our whole life. I look back on things that I pitched big, old fits about and am embarassed. (Like the one I threw yesterday...) Seriously, though, I have had some enlightening experiences lately that have opened my eyes to things I refused to see before--or lacked the experience to be able to see. One is God's love for all people on earth. One is my lack of patience and how I need to improve. Another is that I eat too much sugar and am now in my 30's and can't lose weight as easily. (So that last one is self-centered, but still...perspective hurts sometimes.)
I loved MJ's Ben Franklin quote. One thought on that is that I am still a pretty hard-core conservative nationally, but on a local level I am more middle-of-the road and support good social programs that benefit my own community.
I would say my biggest perspective change is how I view children now that I have had my own. Motherly love is the all-time changer. I've never felt so all-consumed, so hysterically unprepared, so wonderfully filled that I am with my own children. What a blessing.
Have you read any Malcolm Gladwell? I am reading Blink right now and it is very thought provoking. I concur on the perspective thing...sometimes I wonder if it would be nice to go back to the old perspectives just for a day to remember what exactly has changed.
Change is one of the inherent characteristics of perspective. If you don't experience it, you're seriously stagnant. I love talking with some of my friends - and I do consider them friends - who are in their eighties. And I admire the respect that certain cultures direct toward their elderly.
All of these comments are awesome and I don't think I have anything wonderful to add.
But I do remember seeing a movie on a date when I was 19. I thought it was funny and took my mom and 2 little sisters to see it later. I wanted to crawl under the seats from embarrassment! How could I have missed all the language and sexual content the first time through?
I was talking to my Bishop about a sister who seemed to be dropping the ball on some of her responsibilities. He smiled and said she was still young and didn't have the same perspective as us. I've thought several times about the kind of counselor I was when I was in the primary presidency. If I had known then what I know now, I would have been such a better counselor to my presidents.
More random thoughts: after I read "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" about 10 years ago it changed the way I looked at the world for several months. I'm not even sure why. It just did. I'd like to read it again to see if it has the same affect.
I'm glad that my perspective has changed. I look back at the person I was before being married and being a mother and I wouldn't want to go back or be the same person now.
I have never read any of Stegner's things. I'll have to add that to my list! Thanks!
"know thou, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for they good."
A good friend once said to me, "Everything is relative" and it's true.
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