A week ago I was outside the Marriot Center, waiting in line to register for Womens Conference. My sisters and mom were already inside and had just texted me, "Portal E, sec 112" so I could find them once I got in. The line went quickly, but by the time I stepped through the doors, the opening song was already in progress. But, what was this?!? A bathroom door without a trail of impatient women waiting to enter? My sisters could wait another two minutes, this opportunity was too rare to pass up!
Having lived in Utah for 15 years, three of those at BYU, I am well accustomed to Mormon cultural habits. Some of them inexplicable, but when everyone else is doing it, why question why? Take for instance, the big bow phenomenon. It is bad enough that all sense of proportion and fashionable symmetry are ignored when it's a newborn baby wearing those big blossoms. But it certainly doesn't end there. Little girls, big girls, mamas and grandmas are all wearing big flowers without discretion! Mom jeans and a Merona t-shirt? Just add a big pink flower head band. Long khaki skirt and blazer? An oversize daisy pin is the answer. See? Inexplicable.
Back to the bathroom. Don't worry, my story will not get too dirty.
I hardly noticed that the opening song followed me into the bathroom. But I did notice when the song stopped and suddenly the opening prayer was being broadcast through the speakers in the bathroom.
I consider myself well-bred in matters of religious courtesy, but I was totally caught unaware of what to do when you are listening to a prayer while inside a bathroom stall. Fold my arms? Stop the flow? Seriously, how are you supposed to be reverent in the bathroom?!?
Unrighteous, that I apparently am, I decided the most honest course of action would be to continue in my business and get out of the bathroom ASAP. So I flushed and went to wash my hands. Boy, was I surprised to find three or four other women at the sinks with their arms folded, heads bowed and listening to the prayer...... in the bathroom. The sound of the water splashing into the sink reverberated off the tile floor and walls and broke the silence. There were several stall doors closed, with no noise issuing forth. For a moment, I faltered. Is this right? Is this what I'm supposed to do? Freeze in my inconvenient tracks and put on all the signs of reverence? But, unrighteous that I apparently am, I just went ahead and washed up, reaching past a frozen woman to grab a paper towel. By now I was chuckling to myself at the awkwardness of it all, imagining what this scene might look like from above. Was Heavenly Father judging us or laughing too? The amen was said and as if it were common courtesy, several toilets flushed. Suddenly the bathroom was humming with conversation and activity. I got out of there as quickly as I could so all the righteous ladies could gasp about the rude woman who kept peeing during the prayer.
It was my freshman year at BYU all over again.
What would you do?
15 comments:
Gee now I know how you truly feel about the huge bows I put in Amealia's hair ;)
You're a great story teller!
I didn't know you were there!!!??? I was probably the one peeing in the stall next to you :).
For the record, I don't think there is anything wrong with a tasteful, even oversized flower to adorn appropriate ensembles - if you are reading this blog I'm pretty sure you do not fall into the tacky flower crowd. :)
Funniest post ever. Seriously. I read it earlier today and have been laughing to myself the rest of the evening. Oh, how I miss BYU!
GOOD for you for sticking to your wicked guns! And, hey! Neither of us wear DRESSES to Women's Conference, which probably bugs the snot out of some people. ;) I had to explain to my mama that if Ali and I decided to skip a class (heaven forbid!) it didn't count like ditching sacrament meeting. We PAID for this spiritual uplift!
Loved it.
PS I DID wear a flower on a page-boy cap once. It was really cute, too. But it was gray and floppy, had a pewter center and wasn't huge, so maybe it doesn't count???
lol
Oh my heck! This has got to be unprecedented! When have I ever been in a bathroom and heard a prayer? Do they broadcast the basketball games too? Do these same women cheer whilst in their stalls? Weird!
And I'm with you on the colossal flower bows. Babies and little girls? Yes. Middle-aged women...not so much.
Hmmm...truly a quandary. I'm not so great with the being reverent during General Conference prayers, so I imagine that that would carry over into the bathroom as well. Maybe they should rethink those loud speakers...
Well as unrighteous as you apparently are...you never said if you were wearing a strategically placed, oversized blossom. I will imagine it was somewhere on your AZ clad frozen body of yours-maybe on your flip flops??
I hope you learned your lesson for the rest of WC.
Weird that it would be broadcast in the bathroom to begin with if you ask me. Way to flush, wash and dash. The flowers are everywhere here in TX. Big and little on broads and babies alike.
That is hilarious!!! I think that I would have kept on going in the bathroom too. I realize I could be wrong, but I seriously doubt Heavenly Father cares if you bow your head and cross your arms mid stream OR WORSE with pee on your hands!! If you are in the restroom, then you missed the prayer, period. hehe I am sure you are forgiven... you sinner you.
Some of those ginormous flowers are obnoxious even on babies. However, I have two boys and a girl in my belly... I may convert to the flower wearers one day! But not with my mom jeans... haha
"Was Heavenly Father judging us or laughing too?"
If he really is there, I certainly hope that the last thing he is doing is looking into the comings and goings of the women's bathroom, at least not personally looking into it.
HA HA!! I know what you mean about the giant daisy phenomenom.. same with those thick crocheted headbands.. There really should be an age recommendation for those things. Cracks me up about the bathroom scenario..."reaching past a frozen woman for a paper towel.." priceless.
That is hilarious. I had a similar experience. I was peeing and thinking "Wow. Someone is having an earnest conversation... very sincere and passionate... maybe on the phone since no one is responding." Turns out, I was listening to Julie B. Beck broadcast on the speaker. Awkward in the bathroom. By far, though, the prayer is the winner.
That is really funny. It's sad that I can imagine exactly how it went down. They should really mute the bathroom speaker. Generally people who go to the bathroom are seeking a break. But I can also imagine the lady who complained of incontinence and always missed most of the talks, leading to the speakers in the first place.
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