Sunday night I served chicken tacos and black beans for dinner. After we had eaten I began clearing the table and putting things away. #1 and #2 were still at their places, chatting and giggling. Suddenly it got quiet and then #1 blurted out #2's secret.
"Mom, #2 has a black bean in his nose."
I inspected the dark orifice, but found no evidence of bean.
"Well, #2. I hope you don't die. Beans on the brain are deadly."
All traces of silliness drained from his shocked face. (Does this make me the worst mom ever?)
"Let's give your body some time to try to get rid of it on its own. If it doesn't come out in 20 minutes I'll have to take you to the hospital."
I had no intention of taking him to the hospital. I figured if the bean didn't birth itself, it would disintegrate over time, never posing any real harm. Maybe I'm totally wrong. Please inform me if nasally ingested beans are in fact deadly.
I kept cleaning up the kitchen, my mind moving onto other things like, "Why didn't I make dessert tonight? Where is my chocolate?" Several minutes passed before I remembered #2.
He was still sitting at the table, head hanging low, looking despondent. He was doing his very best not to cry.
Oops. I guess you shouldn't joke about death with a five year old. I knelt down next to him and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm sure you will be just fine. You body is probably working really hard right now to get rid of that bean."
He laid his dirty face on my clean shoulder and broke into deep sobs. Gasping for breath, "I" gasp, gasp, "don't," sob, sob, "want," sucking air, "to," snort, snort, "die."
Then a thought struck me. All this crying was producing a lot of mucus. Just what his little nose needed to expel a big black bean. I grabbed a tissue and told him to blow. While he blew I explained the mucus theory. He blew harder. On the fourth or fifth forceful blow I heard a huge "thwack" sound. We checked the tissue and sure enough, there was that slimy legume!
I thought the boy would wipe his tears away and shout hooray. But no, the relief was so immense he collapsed his dirty face onto my other clean shoulder and shook with more sobs. Sobs of joy from the deliverance from death by bean.
When he finally calmed down he was still laying on my shoulder, shuddering with after-cry-shocks. "I'm so glad I'm not going to die. I'm so glad I sniffed out that bean."
In his prayers that night, "I'm thankful that I sniffed that bean out."
First thing the next morning, "Mom, member when I almost died yesterday, but I sniffed that bean out?"
10 comments:
Poor guy! That stinks!
Several years ago I spent many hours at the ER while the Drs tried to extract a game piece out of my daughters nose. I'm glad you were able to avoid that miserable experience.
My grandma actually stuck a bean (probably uncooked) up her nose where it began to sprout! My great-grandmother finally noticed a horrid smell and took her into the hospital. She literally could have died from the sprouting bean! No kidding!
I think you were right as his mother to let him know the possible repercussions!
Poor guy! That stinks!
Several years ago I spent hours in the ER while they tried to get a game piece out of my oldest daugther's nose. I'm glad you were spared that miserable experience!
My grandma put a bean (most likely uncooked) up her nose where it began to sprout! My great-grandmother noticed a horrid smell coming from her but couldn't figure out what it was. Finally they took her to the hospital where they removed the sprouting bean. She literally could have died! No kidding!
You did right telling your son about the possible repercussions! What to go Mom!
That is totally something I would say. Kem gets mad at me for being over dramatic. I'm so glad he sniffed that bean out.
Good thing you made him cry. Who knows how long that stinky bean would've been up there without some slippery snot to flush it out. (I had to go to the hospital for a raisin in the nose. #2 is very lucky indeed.)
Laughing here. Our friend who is an ER doc just told us about a man who came in with a live beetle in his ear. a HUGE beetle that had crawled in while he'd been sleeping out on his deck. It got stuck. The doc couldnt' get it out and the man was going CRAZY when the beetle would bump against his ear drum. Finally, after multiple attempts to irrigate or pull it out with various instruments, he had a revelation. Bugs go to light. So he stuck a light on the guy's ear and sure enough, the bug moved toward the light and crawled out onto his shoulder. I bet the guy will love getting that bill, knowing all he needed to do was hold a flashlight to his ear. I think #2 might not appreciate this story. But the guy didn't die, so maybe he would. ;)
I'm not quite sure if I should laugh or cry right now. Poor kiddo. Saw his life flash before his eyes. He he he
My 5th grade teacher told us of the time back when she was about 10yrs. old and an earwig ACTUALLY crawled into her ear. They had to hard boil an egg and lean her over a bowl to entice the nasty little creepy-crawly out. Eeeewww... ever since the 5th grade, I sleep with my hair swept over my ears. haha :) no joke. She still sleeps with cotton balls in hers (or at least she did as my teacher)!
I am so glad that he sniffed it out too!
PS Hunter prays every night that he can 'live forever and never die'. It's hard explaining to a child why their Grandpa is in Heaven.
Love it. We have to tell stories like that - that's our job :)
I sure love that boy! Such funny stories :)
JJ was a bean sniffer too. He stuck a raw bean up his nose and when his mom asked him, how it got there, he said "it jumped in." I think it seemed like a fair alibi since he had heard of Mexican jumping beans. It landed him an unpleasant trip to the doctor's office. Crazy Kids!
Post a Comment