Ok. So everyone who has read the book is going to see the movie. But maybe you won't be so let down (movies from books are always let-downs, but this one is the worst) if you go into it knowing a few things. Like:
Edward looks like a clown. His (and all the vampires) make up is terrible. He looks like a powder face, with an unblended jaw line and too dark red of lips. It is distracting.
The actor playing Edward uses two faces. 1)wild staring eye 2) sad face
The action scenes are hilarious. Watching the vampires run fast is like watching Tom and Jerry. All they are missing is the little cloud of dust like the ones the Flintstones kick up after their feet do that blurry-run thing. And the climbing of the trees - it makes Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon look like Cirque du Soleil.
And the sparkly skin scene. Oh dear. How can I prepare you for it? Just bring a kleenex to wipe away the tears of laughter.
Jacob.
All is not lost. There are a few scenes that deliver:
The baseball episode
Edward chasing off the mal-intended men in Port Angeles
The fight scene at the ballet studio (just look away when Edward sucks the venom out of Bella's arm -it'll remind you that they are just actors playing in a fictional movie. And isn't the goal to forget you're just watching actors playing in a fictional movie? Suspend the disbelief?)
To sum it up: It looks like Twilight was hastily filmed, hastily edited and poorly produced. It's been touted as a blockbuster but really it's just a B movie.
Two thumbs down.
1.5 star out of 5.
Boo.
But still go see it.
12 comments:
I went and saw it as well. I admit it! I didn't love it and agreed with a lot of what you said. The makeup bugged. But I thought as the movie went on it either bugged less or was used less. I thought Edward faces were too acting until he smiled and then he looked good (the scene when he smelled her in biology was hilarious). But I thought as the movie progressed he got better. I definitely thought Bella and Edward had GREAT chemistry, so that was nice. More scenes of that and I would have really enjoyed it more. I also found the fast running and climbing scenes laughable as well. I wanted to LOVE this movie, and only left liking it. I do think if I saw it again some of those things would bother me less. It definitely missed a few of my favorite parts in the book. But when is a movie ever as good as the book?
My thoughts exactly!! But since it was Twilight, I had to kinda enjoy it, right?!
After reading your review I am so glad that I didnt give up my sleep to see it, I will go see it, eventually.
I laughed when I got on my blog at 9 a.m. to blog about Twilight, and saw that you posted 6 hours ago! I knew I had a fellow-crazy who went to see Twilight. You'll have to read my review.
I agree, it's a B-movie. But I think it will have a cult following. Hopefully, hopefully it will make enough money that someone with a bigger budget will make the next one amazing.
I forgot to mention the blatant "cameo" of Stephanie Meyer in the diner. Bad taste!
Oh you should have seen it with four screaming teenagers! Through their reactions it seemed like an amazing movie, I think I was too caught up in their excitement to judge it too harshly. I personally think Edward was dreamy...the other vampires maybe just a touch too much makeup! Still worth seeing!
I have my ticket for tonight with a bunch of friends. My expectations weren't that high to begin with. It's about a bunch of teenagers. It is too bad that they didn't put more into the movie though.
You are so funny! I can't believe you were one of those out there at midnight. Love it! Your review made me laugh so hard. . . now I at least know to not expect too much!
I've been waiting to hear from someone about it...thank you! I've read several reviews (how can there really be a spoiler when most people have read the book and the trailers have been after every other commercial). I'm planning on seeing it next week when my sister is in town. I was thinking about it this morning--how are they going to make New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn when nobody can age? Just watching the Harry Potter movies, its amazing to see how they grow up. Although maybe after reviews like this it may not ever get that far...Get some sleep!!!
So glad I didn't go:-) Thanks for your hilarious review!
haha! I'm so glad I read this, because I went and saw it last night. Mixed feelings. Definitely agree with your recap. Right on. Now, I just have to say (and I disclaim that I have nothing against ethnic folks of any kind), but what was with Bella being like the only white person, and with the Yu-Ghio type character, Eric, and all her unbelievably abnoxious annoying friends? This is a small town of 3000 people with the country bumpkin diner down the road and tons of worldy, Hollywood looking kids?? Hmmm? Anyway...entertaining to say the least!
Thanks for the heads-up. I have low expectations anyway, so I probably will be laughing and hey! How disappointed can you get when you don't expect much? Plus I will only go see it if someone else takes me to it because that's the kind of budget we live on in dental school...
Yeah. I agree with your reveiw as well. I had mixed feelings coming out of the theater.
#1 Edward grew on me a little through out the film, but the scene where he had a short sleeved shirt was NOT very manly. He either needs to a) start lifting or b) stick with long sleeves.
#2 The INTENSITY throughout the movie I felt was way OVER-acted. I thought Eward was going to throwup on Bella during science not kill her.
#3 my BIGGEST complaint was that they did NOT capture the passion and draw between them that the book does. I quote my SIL for the ONE scene that is a bit on the 'passionate' side... "Bella, put somepants on." What was up with them hanging out in her room while she was in a t-shirt and panties?! (I do NOT recall that in the book and certainly not necessary). I mean didn't book reviewers blast ceratin MOMS who said that book 4 was way too innapproprate for teens by saying "these boys were never geared towards teens"... well, that movie was.
I could go on... but I won't. Nice job.
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