First of all, I am certain that homeschool, done right, would be the best thing for #1. I'm not saying that it is right for everyone under every circumstance, but the way I see it nothing can beat the love, attention and opportunity to excel that a parent can give his/her child (if it can be given). Homeschooling has become mainstream and in most places has lost the stigma attached to it of socially disabled nerds. When I think about the argument of kids not getting proper socialization I think GREAT! who wants their kids socialized by bullies, by succumbing into the group mentality, by drugs, sex and pressure to know the world? Not me. I don't think kids miss out on anything by not learning how to fight back, or how to lose their identity by wanting to be like everyone else. So bottom line, I totally advocate homeschool.
But everyone can't do it. For me, I can't. I can't be the kind of mother I want to be and be the kind of teacher I would want to be. One of those things would fail, not just falter. And to me, I have to choose to be able to be the best mom I can be. (I only say 'able to be', because I wouldn't dare say, 'be the best mom I can be'..... cause I know I never will). And as selfish as this sounds, that includes feeling sane because my house is clean, my laundry is up to date, and I have time to read and exercise. This has been a huge guilty hurdle for me to overcome. Knowing that I'm choosing 2nd best for #1.
But maybe 2nd best for #1 IS best for our family? Homeschooling moms everywhere will condemn me. They know what I know and they have chosen to give their kids the best. I've chosen to give my kids 2nd best. Sooooo......
After months of research, praying and waiting Spouse and I made the choice to send #1 to a public charter school about 10 minutes from our house. The school is new, small (K-3) and is administered by a super experienced/educated team. We've met with #1's teacher and are very impressed and happy with her. Of all the out-of-home options we have this is the best and it is more than good enough. I know there are opponents of charter schools out there, but I'll save that debate for another day..... but maybe to fan the flames I'll throw this out there: since when or where has the government ever done anything better than the private sector?
So school starts September 2nd. Thanks to Grandma J we've got a fancy (and I mean FANCY) new Barbie back-pack. We've got uniforms ready. Cheese sticks and juice boxes are ready for the lunch sack. I've just got to get myself ready to say goodbye at 8:15 on Tuesday morning.
8 comments:
I think that you made the best decision for YOUR family, bottomline. No one can condem you if they are not actually YOU. I won't totally get into all the arguments for each side (there's not enough room here :) ) but it's as debatable as whether or not to 'immunize'.
I say good for you for researching not only your options, but your heart, and your FAMILIES best options. Because you have done your homework and made in informed decision, I say, sleep good tonight! :)
I know that you said you already researched the charter school as well, but caution: they can hire teachers without teaching degree's. Sounds like you already checked into it, which would have been my next suggestion. So enjoy your new found freedom!!
I think you made a great decision and I don't think you made the second best decision because in the long run it wouldn't have been the best one. She will love to see her friends everyday and love the time away on her own. Every kid is different my girls have done great in the public school system, Ethan on the other hand is probably going to go to a charter school as well, where he can get a little more attention. Good Job, it seems so stressful now but once you are used to your kids going to school it wont be. I remember I cried for days when Lauren went to Kgarten and now I cannot wait for Back To School! Does that make me a bad mom?
I don't think you need to feel guilty at all. After volunteering twice at Ryanna's charter school and seeing her teacher in action and the creativity, combined with the budget and supplies she has, not forgetting the experience either, I can definitely say Ryanna is having a much more enriching and well balanced education than I could ever give her. Hopefully, you'll be able to volunteer at her school and feel the same way about her education.
I'm pretty sure it is safe to say that you have already done above and beyond what "most" parents do to ensure the best possible education for their children. Kuddos to you or doing the research!
I agree with Audrey. INVOLVEMENT is the key!!!! I feel like that way my kids get the best of both worlds.
Good luck tomorrow with #1.
If only everybody did the research and knew the things you did. Most people are ambivalent to this. While I feel like our school systems are good, I still can't get over the social factors that influence a child for 12 years and most times longer. Who you are labeled as, is who you are for that time and sometimes for the rest of your life. I know I lost my identity in grade school. I just don't know how you change that. Is it one of those life lessons that must be learned? I don't know. I'm sure I'll be faced with some same decisions when the time comes for my #1 to go to school.
I think what you have here is a choice of 2 goods, charter schools can do it better than the typical public school. put a cap on students, smaller school altogether, not bad, so just because homeschooling isn't for your family does not make it the best choice it makes it one of the good choices but because it doesn't work, you go to the next good choice, not second best.
Now to your comment, I am sorry but I don't even remember that? Is that bad or are you relieved? was I butting in or was I just in the wrong place at the wrong time? I am embarrassed for myself. sorry! I thought you were going to remember the other awkward moment was when I decided to compliment you on weight loss and then I felt like I had ended up sounding creepy in the end, and of course I did not intend to, I just tried to make small talk, and well I failed. to be honest I am often tongue tied around your family with your gorgeous barbie doll looks and perfection in every area it seems, I get pretty intimidated. your blog helps with you seeming more flawed but still pretty darn perfect. maybe with Grandma being so close we'll see more of you and I will work on being less awkward! It could happen. thanks for the memory!
I wouldn't feel bad about your descion at all. I have found over the last year, well since I started back to school, that more often than not, people make comments and judge others because they feal that they are some how failing at something that your succeding in. If you truely feel that in order for you to be the best mom that you can be, which by the way you are great at, you need to send your child to school rather than homeschool, than that will make homelife better for everyone! The other thing is you have done so much research into your choice that there is no way you should feel guilty for it. My sister in law was having problems with her tradional school that her 4 girls were going to, so she looked into other possibilities... long story short, for the last 3 years the girls have been going to this great chrater, and they love it! They are ahead of all their learning levels (reading, math, science, etc)where as before they had been failing. Everyone learns differantly, so doing what is best for your child is what is best for you and your family! Way to continue being a great mom!
I have been trying to get a sec to comment on this post.
Good for you. I couldn't agree with you more on the reasons that homeschooling would be so darn hard (and a huge sacrifice for the mama). I can't tell you how glad I am that we are not doing it this year, despite my concerns with the schooling #2 is getting. I basically do a 2-hour homeschool most days with her anyway. The rest of the time at school (where she's not learning a dang thing academically), she enjoys learning social behavior, making friends and following rules. Plus, she adores recess and eating lunch in the cafeteria. So, it's working for us now.
Sound like you got your #1 in a good school. A charter? I am looking into applying for a charter myself if I can't get the girls into a local charter school by junior high. I figure if I can't join them, start another one. It'd be easier than homeschooling, even though I hear it's a ton of work to get a charter up and running. But I'd have so much say in the curriculum, teachers, etc. We'll see where that one goes.
I think you are an amazing mom to consider homeschooling and you obviously care deeply about your little one's education and spirit. She will go far in whatever she does with a caring mama like you.
So, go read a book and enjoy a bit of time to yourself (well, sort of...). ;)
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