But now that I'm supposed to be sending my firstborn to Kindergarten in August, I'm totally rethinking the issue. Why send her to the wolves so she can be 1 of 25 needy kids, waiting on someone else's time to learn? Why wouldn't I keep her where she is loved and her personal needs can be met? These are questions I'm sure every mother wonders, even if only briefly, before putting their first child in Kindergarten. These worries would most likely be assuaged if there was an excellent, safe school, with a remarkable teacher I could send her to. But round these parts, no such school exists. I have three options that I'm considering. Each has its strengths, but also serious disadvantages. For example, the one school is a nice, new school. The Kindergarten classroom and teacher are SO cute. But the school itself is overcrowded, failing and full of violent, delinquent 7th and 8th graders. Like this:
The other two schools have equal ratios of drawbacks and strengths. I've observed, gone to parent's meetings, researched and prayed my heart out and I just do not feel good about any of those choices.
Which brings me to homeschool. I've always flippantly pronounced that I would homeschool if the schools were unacceptable. And here were are: unacceptable schools. Can I really do it? Can I really organize my life and be disciplined enough to make it a valuable experience? I've been looking at curriculum just in case and there is so much out there, so many options, I don't know if I could even choose the right method.
I was talking to a friend who I really respect and found out that she will be homeschooling her daughter (also starting Kindergarten). I asked her about it and she basically recited back all the things I've been worried about. She knows some other moms that will be homeschooling and said they are planning field trips and play groups, so they won't be isolated.
I feel like I should homeschool, but I'm afraid and I don't want to accept it. So readers, once again I come to you for wisdom. What would you do? What advise or opinions can you offer me?
18 comments:
Hi there! I came across your blog through a 'google alert' and just wanted to show some support. I know how hard the decision is to homeschool; I went to school to become a teacher, yet realized that the local schools were not the right place for my children (now ages 8, 5 and 10 months). It can be hard, but the biggest thing to remember is to relax, LOL. Kindergarten should be all about fun and developing a love for learning. As long as you keep that in perspective, you can do just fine! :-) Good luck in your decision making!
Homeschooling is definitely one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. You just have to do what is right for your family. Don't be afraid to mess up. You only have to be one day smarter than your child! :o)
If you want to, you can come visit us over at www.heartofthematteronline.com. We have lots of moms ready to support you... whether you decide to homeschool or not. Feel free to ask any question you have. We have all been there.
I think you know your answer. Seeing as you would be lucky to get "Snoop dogs" at her school, because the kids are probably worse, I think you go for it.
The reasons I would think people have for sending their kids to public schools are for the social benefits, the clubs, the sports, the need for a release, that they aren't smart enough to do it themselves or are working, and that some kids do better without their parents who are "nagging" them. All important reasons.
But in your situation there are no social benefits for her to attend. It will be worse for her to hear the things she will hear. She will be the smartest in the class and the teacher will have to slow down for the other kids. You are smart enough to teach her and you will know what is being taught and the people she is around.
If it's really as bad as it sounds, I think you make the sacrifice for these first few years until you are in a better school district. If it's really hard and you can't handle homeschooling, you can always put her in and she will probably still be ahead of the other kids.
It sounds like you have a lot of people that are in the same boat and so that will make it easier to organize activities with people and kids you trust.
The hard part will be that you have 2 other kids to tend to so it could be very distracting. If anyone can make it work, it is you. But just make sure you still have time to cook those delectable treats, because if you can't, then it is totally not worth it. ;)
well, you already nailed the first course of action--pray. that absolutely will yield the best answer.
temple attendance. you know where to go once you're there. :)
it sounds like a real quagmire school district. we have none of that where we are currently (though we'll probably move by the end of summer), so we can't relate to what that'd be like. brother and weef-in-law are working on a charter school in their town; maybe you and spouse could look into forming one? i don't know.
our prayers are definitely with you though. keep your riveted readers in the loop!
JL, I completely understand your dilemma, it's why we took the loss on our house and moved. However, saw no other choice because we need the special education programs here.
Given that you can adequatley educate #1 at home, the schools are not up-to-par, taking a loss on your house is not an option, then absolutley keep her home and teach her yourself.
You also went to school to be a teacher, so you'll be fabulous!!
Plus, it's kindergarten... how badly can you screw up learning letters, beginning reading skills, very beginning math, and colors.
You will do GREAT!!
P.S. I would contact the Dist. (or a better one) and ask then for a referral on which home school program they would recommend.
JL,
I've wondered the same thing. We're not nearly at that stage, but the schools where we live are similar to yours.
Here are my thoughts, and take them or don't. If it were me, I would make a list of pros and cons. Even though it may not seem like it, I believe there are pros about sending kids to schools like the ones in our areas.
Second, the other thing to consider is her age. To me, it would be one thing if my child was entering latter elementary years into junior high. Some would say that quality education begins at the beginning - and I agree if you have access to it. But the latter years in my opinion are of more critical value.
There is a lot you can do at home to supplement what's going on in school. And most likely you will be moving at some point in the next few years.
Lastly, even though it may seem scary (and it IS), there is something to be said for placing your child in a diverse environment.
Again - this is me and these are the thoughts that would run through my head were I in your same situation.
That said - you have to go with your gut. That's really what it comes down to. So, if you truly feel like it's not right, then it's not right - plain and simple.
You're one smart cookie, my friend. Whatever it is you decide, you'll make it work.
Actually, DON'T contact the school to get a recommendation on curriculum. You will most likely hear 101 reasons why you shouldn't home educate, and they haven't got the first clue as to what resources are available for homeschoolers. Many districts don't even know their own state laws with regards to home education.
amy b recommended "Heart of the Matter", which is a great online homeschooling magazine. Start there, and talk to some actual home educators for recommendations. There are also books available at most local libraries on homeschooling.
Then I would definitely call the school district. I think it's worth hearing the 101 things to see if they tell you something you didn't realize or we couldn't tell you on this comment board, which is probably a lot. But do get your curriculum elsewhere. It would be worth asking.
Although I respect the comments by Jane, I know that diversity is not the problem so much as bad kids and bad parenting, which may directly be influenced by their race. Your problem is not the fact that there are many racial divisions, it's that the kids white, black, hispanic, etc. are not parented right. They don't have the kind of values that you possess. I used to work in a school that was diverse. While some kids struggled with some similar issues (poverty, divorce, single parenthood, language, etc.), it was the kind of diverse environment Jane was referring to where it would have benefited your child to attend. Really good kids.
Putting values aside, many are far behind in education. I think it would take her back a step rather than help her. Just remember the stories told by Erin from the experiences with Andrew. That would be a good person to talk to.
I appreciate what you're saying MJ. I have no problem with diversity. I have a problem with gangs and violence and exposing a 5 year to that would never be worth it for the sake of diversity. Whatever the socioeconomic class, race, culture.... I don't care as long as there is respect and safety. And that is what is lacking. I could deal with a sub-par education (at least for Kindergarten and maybe 1st grade) as long as the school was safe and loving.
As far as supplementing goes. If supplementing is necessary, then what would I be sending her to school for; it would be a waste of time. Why supplement if you can teach better, in less time? I'm sick that the only choice I have for Kindergarten is all-day; 9-4 for a 5 year old. And if I had to supplement on top of that when would we play or have music or dance?
BTW Thanks everyone for offering such thoughtful opinions and advise. I really. seriously. appreciate it.
Hey! As you may remember when we first moved, my little guy was in a very similar school as you are considering for your #1. Because we wanted him to be the oldest in his class as opposed to the very youngest, we chose to have him repeat Kindergarten in the new school. However after 2 weeks it became extremly obvious that he was ahead of his peers. His teacher told me that about 1/3 of the students were new to speaking English and many could not even write their own names while my little guy read the announcements on the chalk board. She suggested moving him to 1st grade. Which we did. And although the curriculum was a little more at his level, the classroom still had about 6 kids who could speak NO English and then several more who were struggling just to converse.
I wondered how the teacher could possibly give my guy the attention he needed with so many other bigger challenges in the classroom. You know what they say about the squeaky wheel...
After 8 months at the school with several red flags that I should have clued into (and I feel pretty bad about not taking action) I finally pulled him out of school completely when I learned that a bully had been taking most of his lunch every single day and he didn't want to tell me about it because he was afraid of the punk being mad at him.
Sure, he was a little sad because he would miss his friends. And yes, I suppose one could argue that the "diverse environment" was beneficial? Really?
I enrolled him at the school thinking that homeschool was not an option for me, but if I could go back knowing what I did after those 8 months, I would have kept him at home. I would have found other mothers in similar situations and organized "learning sessions" where we could get 4-5 kids together and teach a unit or concept a couple times per week in addition to the regular study.
I understand what Jane means about the latter grades being the "critical years." but only academically. Think about it, you are much more likely to take your 1st grader out of school for a week of vacation as opposed to a 10th grader. Why? Because its so much harder to catch up for the 16 year old; for the first grader its no big deal.
While the curriculum is important, I feel the biggest issues are the socialization and identification.
So I didn't mean to be this long!
I just think you need to remember that whatever decision you make, it's not set in stone. After one year or even a few months, you can reevaulate and change your course if it needs correcting.
You're awesome!
I totally hear you. I totally waver on this issue as well. I think you will make the right decision for you and your family, but I thought I share some of the thoughts I have had on the matter: 1) Although it is only kindergarten, it is likely that if you do it for one or two years, that your child will be far enough ahead of others her age, that she would be bored academically and not challenged if you put her back in. 2) Considering that you are already concerned about the social side, you would probably compensate enough that she would never notice the difference, and BTW, most schools legally have to let your child participate in extracurriculars like sports and even other programs like choir, plays, debate, etc. 3) Public schools really aren't the best education, hands down, but I struggle with whether I really have it in me to have my kids at home every day all day until they leave for college. Good luck.
I'd like to respectfully disagree with the former definitions of diversity.
I taught 11th grade English in a "diverse" inner-city environment. This was a school where there was violence, arrests, drugs, gangs, poverty, divorce, and other issues typical of an inner city school.
Although there were students who were involved in such activities, it certainly did not define the entire student body. I had numerous students who were hard working, possessed strong value systems, had actively involved parents, and they were of various ethnic backgrounds.
The problems with these type of schools are multi faceted - it is not singly a problem of race or bad parenting. Bad parenting happens at every socioeconomic level and in every ethnicity. Race is not indicative of poverty, violence, or lack of a value system.
I whole heartily agree that it is never a good idea to expose a child to violence or gang related behavior simply in the name of attending a "diverse" school. In promoting a diverse environment, I am not suggesting that I think it's ok for kids to hang around drugs or gangs. I am suggesting that in these "diverse" schools there are quality teachers who work hard and there are students who want to learn and who we can learn something from.
Now that I've clarified my position on diversity in schools, we can move on to the issue of the home schooling decision. Regardless of the academic environment, you need to do what feels right to you - and that's what really matters.
The definition of diversity applies to races and cultures as well as being different. People who are characterized by divorce, poverty, violence, or lack of a value system, aside from just their race, add to diversity.
The confusing statement I made was "I know that diversity is not the problem so much as bad kids and bad parenting, which may directly be influenced by their race." What I should have said was "by their culture". But isn't that just the nice way to refer to race. It is all related. I know that there are bad parents in all races, but I am talking specifically about the area in which JL lives.
There is more gang activity created through racial divisions, especially in JL's area, where black and hispanics fight constantly. This is a fact so to leave out the word "race" would just not be accurate, in her situation. It's not a matter of applying this to all black or hispanic people. And I'm sure there are many great black and hispanic people in that area, but whether there are many or a few, there is a big enough problem to be worried.
"Race is not indicative of poverty, violence, or lack of a value system." This is a comfortable saying that is unfortunately not factually true. I would love for this to be true. But different cultures are defined by race. For example, there are more single parent black women, than white. While the number of white single parents is growing, there are more white fathers still supporting children. There are more black gang members, and there are more black people on welfare, which is in relation to the greater amount of single parents. So I don't know what to think but to say that at some point in time, a value was lost in that culture or race. Does this mean that that it has to be this way defined by law, of course not, but the cycle of poverty is running rampant and it's hard for anybody, race aside to get out of that cycle. I would imagine that their culture is related to their unfair beginnings in this country.
It would be nice to say that we can all live in harmony and it doesn't matter whether you are black, white, hispanic, or whatever, but as a country, there are places where we can't. I believe there will always be racial divisions. I wish there wasn't.
Jane, I respect your opinions and I don't want you to think I am criticizing you, because I'm not. I just see things a little differently. I understand your argument about diverse environments being good.
JL, I'm sure you're loving this controversy. Do what's right for you. You'll know.
Yes, I always love a good controversy and especially when everyone plays nice like you all are doing here.
As far as the homeschooling goes, I took #1 with me to one of the schools on Friday and we actually had a positive experience. This particular school doesn't have the discipline problems and they are actually quite good academically, but there are major disadvantages in other areas. So the plot thickens...
start a charter school but that won't help this year, so until then use Core Knowledge as your guide.
JL, It's been interesting to read each person's point of view here. I don't really have anything else to add that hasn't been mentioned, so I thought I would just say good luck in making your decision!
Jen--we need to talk. I have been tossing around this idea since my Ash left her private kindergarten. It was great, but today she was telling me about some kid in her accelerated learning class (they teach 1 1/2 years above grade level) that was putting really bad swear words into their "suggestions box" in the class room. Rooms like "shut-up," "stupid," and "F---" ---and she spelled it. Oh my gosh. And this is by far the least of my worries.
Anyway, seriously, I'd love to talk about it. Or email. Glad you found my blog. Love yours.
XO
Jacqui
Oh, and I have several great ideas on curriculum. The Carden curriculum is awesome (we looked into a private school that uses it, but decided we couldn't keep it up through the years--the payments, that is!), and we love Saxon Math.
I agree with the supplementation. Why should you send them to 7+ hours of school only to turn around and have to do more at home? Ridiculous, and I still have a problem with it, even in a pretty good school district here.
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