First grade was at a new school, almost 2,000 miles away. I remember standing on the playground alone, wondering what I was supposed to do at recess without friends. I know it's hard to imagine it, (especially after that horrible confession in the above paragraph) but I used to be very shy.
I finished my elementary years, 4th-6th at yet another new school, in a new state. By now I knew what to expect on the first day, so I wasn't surprised by the pit in my stomach or the embarrassed loneliness I felt standing alone on the playground with no one to talk to.
Two decades later and I feel like I'm doing it all over again. Nervous and apprehensive for #1 and #2, starting school in a new place. I'm reliving that sinking feeling you get when you feel entirely out of place.
Today was actually their second day and it was almost worse than yesterday. At least yesterday was accompanied by some excitement. Today it seemed like almost pure dread. For me or them?
I know that the kids are where they are supposed to be and things will work out happily for them. We just have to make it through the first few weeks.
A quiet moment in the car on the ride over.
Heading over to the big kid playground. I had to drop #1 off and leave her ALL ALONE while I took Buster over to the Kindergarten playground. I did not like that!
Here is #1 getting in her teacher's line, her nervousness written all over her face. 
My Kindergartener! This boy asked to wear his new "Kindergarten shoes" every.single.day. this summer. He was very excited until the moment we stepped into the Kindergarten playground, then he was all business, "Mom we are going to be late!" 
6 comments:
Wow they look so big and grown up! How fun!(?)
Tragedy. That's all I have to say. It's kinda like swim lessons...by day 2, they know what they have gotten themselves into. I know it will be wonderful, but for now, it stinks.
Ooh. That makes me sad just reading about it.
I grew up in the same house until I moved away for college. In some ways I think it might be healthy for kids to experience the change, and I wonder if I might have coped better when I finally did come face-to-face with being alone. I don't think I really understood that completely lonely feeling until college when I stood in the middle of campus wanting to cry from feeling lost and alone. I had always had people I knew with me up until that point.
I hope by the end of the week they are feeling better!
i remember those same sinking feelings on the first day of school. you're right - they'll be fine, it's just getting through those first weeks....
they look adorable, and OLD! wow.
It makes me feel better to know that someone else feels the anxiety of new places/faces. Even though this is our 2nd year, I still get a pit on my stomach and lose sleep over the thoughts of "will my kids have someone to play with at recess?", "will they make friends?" or "what if someone teases them, will they know what to do?"
I can't even let mine ride the bus... the anxiety might institutionalize me. :) haha I know it's in my head, but I can't help it!
Your pictures say it all, don't they? The word "pathos" comes to mind. It makes me so sad to think about how hard it is for them, but they will get through it and they will have more confidence. Espcecially with a good mother like you.
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