Cha cha cha changes

first day

I just sent #1 out the door to her last day of Kindergarten and I can't help but feel heavy with emotion. She has had a great year, full of success and accomplishment. She has grown and blossomed. I'm proud of her but I can't help but feel the significance of this passage of time.

A year ago I dreaded the change that school would make on our family and I wept at night thinking of my little one away from me for many hours of her day. I accept change and growth but I can't deny that I suffer in transitions.

Today I look back a little wiser but still feel for that person I was a year ago. Then I look at #1 and marvel at the metamorphosis that has begun.

Look with me:

A year ago she snuggled and displayed affection without reserve. Now her love comes in the form of well written notes and an occasional kiss or hug given without my begging.

A year ago she drank from sippy cups, needed help opening her applesauce or juice boxes, played with ponies and slept with her ducky. Today she independently serves her own food, plays school and still sleeps with her ducky.

A year ago she would sing and dance around the room uninhibitedly. Now I only hear her singing behind the closed door of her bedroom. If she is ever caught she immediately turns silly and would be SO embarrassed if I said anything about her singing.

A year ago I was the law and The source of all correct information. Now #1 challenges my information with what she hears in school or reads in books.



I am not lamenting these changes or wishing for old times. I'm just taking a moment to remember the chubby, furry caterpillar that my spectacular butterfly used to be.

Last week - sorry for the toilet shot

preschool prom

Usually I don't let my kids date until they're at least 7 or 8 but I had to make an exception for #2 who was asked to preschool prom by this sweet lass.



#2 is pure jock, typically uninterested in girlie things (unless you count what is underneath the mannequin's dress) so it was surprising that he allowed himself to be cuddled and then persuaded to dance the morning away in his sister's bedroom.



When his date's mother came to pick her up I told the mother how her daughter had declared #2 to be her boyfriend! Later, I found out from a reputable source that this girl's heart is inconstant - apparently she has a lot of 'boyfriends.'

And I thought I'd be spared this drama for at least another 3-4 years.





In full disclosure #2's heart has strayed as well. When I asked him who he was going to marry (completely confident he was going to say ME) he answered, Miss. F-----, #1's Kindergarten teacher. That same day I found him stroking a scantily clad chest in a Guess perfume magazine ad. Shocked, I asked him what he was doing and he only mumbled in a hypnotic voice, "oooooh. Miss F-----."

Have you seen this yet?



What the What?

#1 brought home this acrostic poem she created in honor of earth day:

Reduce by turning off lights
Elephants shood be helphthe (healthy)
Clean the earth
Yay! We have the earth
Cats shood be helphthe (healthy)
I Love the earth
Earth is oar (our) home

Cute, right?

Then last week she authored this dramatic tale:

Once upon a time there was a little boy. The boys name was Peeter. Peeter was not a good boy. There was a good girl. The girls name was Dasy (Daisy). The boy was a messy boy. Dassy was a cleen girl.

There was a queen. A queen that was queen of all the queens. The queen was in the reepupglick (republic) too. The queen had a gun. Dasy had a gun too. The queen was prity. Peeter got kitckt (kicked) and he died.

insert appropriate 6 year old illustrations.

What the what?



Not seriously worried, just scratching my head with a half-grin on my face and nostrils flared.

My little rat turned two

Sweet rat is usually a third wheel. Being dragged behind while we transport #1 and #2 to their schools and activities. She tags along when they play with friends or go on outings. Afternoons are spent busily doing homework, making dinner, cleaning up - while #3 is .... well, neglected. Lest you judge me as a dead beat mother, I will mention that I do try to take time every day that is just for her. So you can imagine how exciting it was for #3 on Saturday to finally have something be about HER! She was suspicious at first. Thinking it was too good to be true - could we all really be singing to her? And would she really be allowed to touch those wrapped gifts? By the end of the day she had accepted the truth, we really were celebrating her! She smiled pure rapture as I brought her her lighted birthday cake.

#3 is a joy and a gem. She has a strong will yet gentle ways. She loves affection and is known to approach total strangers with hugs, whispers or hand holding.

Now lets talk about me. I have so much mother guilt with #3. For many reasons. One is that I don't miss her infanthood. When #1 was growing out of babyhood I felt intense nostalgia for the time that had passed. Yet with #3 I don't have those same feelings. This makes me worry that I'm not loving #3 equally. I already feel so guilty that I can't offer her the same attentions that #1 and #2 received. I'm happy that she has grown independent. I feel more bonded to her now that she can communicate and reciprocate love.

I recognize that mothers must love their children differently and that changed circumstances aren't necessarily bad. But that is too reasonable for my passionate subconscious. How do you deal with mother guilt?

Current Events

DESPERATE MOTHER TRAVELS TO BYU WOMEN'S CONFERENCE; HUSBAND SURVIVES THREE DAYS ALONE WITH KIDS

sister, mom, sister

SAME MOTHER HUGGING ON NEWLY BAPTIZED NEPHEW, SHORTLY BEFORE BINGING ON SWEET TOOTH FAIRY PEANUT BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES

YOUNG BOY LEARNS TO WRITE OWN NAME!!!!



23 MONTH WILLFUL CHILD WONDERS WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN NEXT



VALLEY OF THE SUN TEMPS EXCEED 100, DRIVES CITIZENS TO SEEK REFUGE IN NEARBY WATER (or swimming lessons)

And now that we are all caught up, please excuse me while I enjoy the remainder of my Mother's Day.

Earth Day, deconstructed

A few days ago #1, who is always looking ahead, asked me to go over the calendar for the next few months. She likes to know what exciting events to look forward to. I told her about swimming lessons, #3's birthday, the end of school, our extended vacation in Utah, Brother Brig's wedding. She seemed unsatisfied.

"You forgot a holiday."

It's true. I hadn't mentioned Memorial Day. But what does she know of that?

"You forgot about celebrating Earth Day."

I roll my eyes. "We don't celebrate earth day."

#1 has become aware this year that all children don't celebrate the same holidays. She is used to being in the majority when it comes to birthdays, Christmas etc. So her face lit up in surprise when she thought for a moment that she might be the object of sensitivity in her class, the lone abstainer of Earth Day.

I imagined #1 in class the next day, asking to be excused from all the Earth Day activities. And why shouldn't she? Our family does not teach earth worship. We do not study the prophecies of Al Gore. We do not accept the selling of indulgences otherwise known as carbon offsets. We abhor the outward and overt displays of 'greenism' and we certainly do not measure our devotion to the earth by the size of our carbon footprint.

But what could I tell #1? There are many things I had hoped I would never have to tell her. Things that are just so self-evident that they would rarely need mentioning. Things like, we don't lie. We don't hurt people. We pray. We love. Imagine setting aside one day a year to celebrate honesty. Today's the day we're going to be honest with everyone! This garish recognition seems to cheapen the quiet mundane messages of daily living. As if to really love honesty you must wear your t-shirt, slap on a bumper sticker and shout from the roof tops how honest you are. Respecting and caring for the earth is one of those things I had hoped would never need a label. It would just be our way of life.

I'm afraid the 'green' band wagon is picking up so much speed that in a few years the zealots, however well intentioned, who started this thing will have moved onto the next bigger and better cause, and all of us who went along buying florescent light-bulbs and bragging about our 'greenness' will run out of steam. But the true earth lovers, the real respecters of God's creations will still be doing what they've always been doing, long before it was hip to be green: living a simple life, consuming little, wasting little.

Even though #1 brought home an abundance of handouts, fliers, worksheets and coloring pages celebrating Earth Day (oh! the irony!), the 'holiday' came and went in our house without notice. Just the way I like it.